Don’t let the 2nd trimester fool you!

Today I’m 11 weeks, 4 days. I’m so close to 12 weeks that I can touch it! According to Babyzone, Baby Center, What to Expect, and all of the wonderful pregnancy powers at be, my morning sickness should be fading, I should be getting my energy back, and I should be happy and smiling while doing my yoga and cleaning the house, simultaneously. They LIE. L-I-E-S.

I’m starting spring semester at school tomorrow and I honestly have no idea how I’m going to manage. I’ve had morning sickness since 6 weeks and been on Zofran practical every day since. Up until a few days ago I was able to take my Zofran in the morning, stay hydrated to stave off the side effect headaches, have a little queasiness and an occasional gag throughout the day, but I was good. I could still get things accomplished. I was doing my first trimester workout tapes- yoga, cardio, and belly dancing! The clothes weren’t getting washed and Chris reminded me of that this morning, (sorry babe!! I’ll try harder.) but I was handling pregnancy well. True I was sleeping until 9am every morning and only eating oranges and baked potatoes, but hey- I was eating.

Nooooo. Not any more! Not since week 10.5. I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep. I’m taking my Zofran in the morning (and afternoon) and nausea continues throughout the day, along with gagging, and occasionally throwing up. I can’t keep myself hydrated enough to keep the Zofran headaches away which leads to more nausea which makes me want to take more Zofran, but that would only lead to more headaches. I’m STARVING and I can’t eat.  I smell food and I gag. Baked potatoes and oranges are the only things I can keep down. Before that’s only what I wanted. I could eat other food, as long as it didn’t contain meat, but now I can’t even stand the sight of other things. We were at Chris’s Grandma’s today cleaning out the house, preparing for the big move. He went to pick up pizza and as soon as he walked in the door with it I started tearing up from nausea. I was about to cry because I wanted to be as far away from that pizza as possible, yet I hadn’t been able to eat anything all day.

Pinterest is a joke. The stupid website makes me think that if I just make *insert delicious food here,* that I’ll be able to eat it. Nope! Chris made an awesome veggie lasagna last night for dinner and as soon as he set it on the table, I lost my ability to eat. I’d like to say I lost my appetite, but that wasn’t the case. :/

It’s not just food. I bend over and I gag. I can’t do the laundry without getting sick. I walk for more than 2 minutes and I gag. I went to the store yesterday and felt like death. I sit watching tv or on the computer and I gag.

This isn’t me crying about being pregnant or the fact that I’m sick. If that were the case I’d say something like “I hate being sick all the time! Stupid morning sickness! Why can’t I just feel better! I wish this baby would just be here already!!!.” You get the picture. Well of course I hate being sick and wish that I felt better, but if baby is healthy, I’ll take the sickness. I may not be enjoying it, but I’m accepting it.

So now at 0700 tomorrow morning when I leave my house to be at school by 0745, I will pray the whole way there. I will pray that I don’t throw up in my car. I will pray that I don’t throw up in class. I will pray that I can focus and concentrate and learn. I will pray I can make it through my morning classes and afternoon work and evening classes without a nap. I pray that I’ll be able to find something to eat that I can keep down. I pray that I don’t take my hormones and hunger and exhaustion out on poor Chris. And I pray that I can do it all over again the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that.

Kristen and Chris have both told me that they feel I’ll have morning sickness throughout my pregnancy. I want to punch them both for saying such horrible things about me. I hope that isn’t the case, but I guess – if it is, they are the ones that have to deal with my wrath. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Bring it.

My main meal

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Baby dust and other crazy ideas

If you read Candi’s last post, you saw the term “baby dust.”  I felt the need to expand on baby dust and explain what it is.

First, no, it is in fact NOT dust made from babies of any kind.  To normal people, that seems like a horrible thing to even say or write but if it passed through my mind I can guarantee it has crossed someone elses mind.  Baby dust is a term of sort made up by the TTC (trying to conceive) community to show support and positive thoughts.  It’s like saying “I’m sending you good thoughts” or something to that effect.  I realized that many people don’t know this term when I said to my sister-in-law I had a great idea about making a tangible baby dust item for our website to sell for fundraising.  After I was so excited about the idea she told me she had no clue what I was talking about.  I became frustrated because I thought it was a common term because I hear it and use it often.  Obviously to a person that doesn’t troll forums about infertility and making babies and being pregnant and so forth, it sounds like the insanity has finally set in.  To me, the person saying I am crazy happens to be crazy.

So, the term “baby dust” is easy to understand.  Candi and I decided we needed tangible baby dust so we can send a physical representation of good thoughts to people…when they pay for it.  We have possibly the cutest bottles of “baby dust” ever to grace the earth.  I am personally excited about them because they were one of my good ideas.  Of course, Candi took the idea and made them happen and made them absolutely adorable which I think she does to make me crazy.  I try a craft and it sucks.  She tries and she’s freakin’ Martha Stewart.

                        

Since we now have “baby dust” on hand, I have constant thoughts of bathing in it.  I often consider dumping it in my bed and sleeping in it.  None of these options have been proven to work so, since I am not a trend starter, I will wait for someone else to let me know how it works for them.

I hope this helps people unfamiliar with this idea grasp that most women who are trying to get pregnant are nuts.  I am the first to admit I am a basket case.  When your life goes from normal day-to-day happenings to constant charting, endless doctors appointments, shots of chemicals you would never consider putting in your body…unless it was to have that smooshed up wrinkly baby, and so many other things I will explain later…you become insane.   I have said before I feel like a walking science experiment.  I just add baby dust to the mix to make myself feel like I have magic dust in my possession and when I tell my doctor my list of medications for the 400th time on Friday, I think I’ll add that just to confuse him.  It seems like the proper thing to do.