Ovulation and PCOS

Shockingly enough, it’s possible without drugs!
I started my weight loss journey March 8th. It is now April 30th. I am down 28 pounds which is amazing for me. If you recall from my previous post, we took a much-needed fertility break because I just felt the timing was very bad. So, I have been going to the doctor every 30 days. Last month I went the day before my dad passed to find out I wasn’t pregnant and to let the doctor know that I was not going to actively pursue fertility treatments for a few months. He agreed and added that we would be using no medications. This was to see if my body was going to cooperate and work on its own.
As luck would have it, I ovulated. On my own! Now the problem is that we aren’t exactly sure when that happened. I was waiting for “the feeling” of ovulation. I thought I got that a few days after I normally did when everything is medically induced. HOWEVER, I think that was incorrect. The week AFTER, I had all the normal symptoms of ovulation…including EWCM. I actually texted Candi while she was at a baseball game to make sure it was possible that I could have ovulated and had this disgusting mucus.

Here I sit now, 7 days late for my period. I went in on the 23rd to the fertility doctors office to get my blood and ultrasound. At that moment, I would have been 5 days past ovulation if I actually ovulated that late. The test came back negative. No biggie because I am still not sure I could handle that and still grieving and everything else. I do, however, have a small voice in the back of my mind (and Candi’s voice in my ear) saying it’s still possible. I go back to the clinic tomorrow for another ultrasound and blood test. The doctor told me I should be starting anytime but I can’t wait for it to happen naturally at this point. I have been a raging bitch for the last 5 days. Not to mention extremely emotional. I have no other symptoms…so I have no idea what is going on but I will find out tomorrow if I don’t start before then.

This is just a small glimmer of hope to you ladies out there with PCOS. I know not everyone has a weight problem and I don’t believe this is all because of my weight. I am so much healthier now because of the products I use. I have energy, I get off the couch and run or walk, I play with my dogs outside rather than let them out and call them back in. I truly believe that with the right nutrition and healthy living you can reverse the effects of PCOS. I am trying my damnedest. My doctor said he was stunned that I had lost so much weight and that I ovulated on my own. Maybe this will mean I don’t have to spend every last dime on treatments anymore.

Keep up the good thoughts everyone. I am thinking about you always! Baby dust to everyone that wants it!

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Hysterosalpingogram. Say that 3 times fast.

That word has never exited my mouth. Only because I get halfway through and decide it’s too difficult and I shorten it to what many know it as “HSG”. This is that lovely test where the doctor injects radioactive dye in your uterus to see if there is a blockage in your tubes. I had my 3rd hsg on Tuesday. I knew what to expect. I took a few Ibuprofen before I went in and I was ready to go. It wasn’t bad. The doctor said there may have been a little block because there was a little hesitation on my left side but the dye was flowing just fine and everything looks good. Thank goodness. I also informed my doctor I would much rather have 400 hsg’s instead of 1 uterine biopsy. I’ve had 4 or 5 of those and let me warn you…they are horrible. Worst thing ever. I have a really high pain tolerance but that test is enough to make me decide to do adoption only.
The hsg not only clears out your blockages but apparently makes you incredibly fertile. So my plan of not trying this month has been put aside. I’m not crossing anything (especially since crossing my legs would be completely unproductive.) So we are back to having more artificial insemination with no break. I’m ok with it…I think. I was going to try to lessen the crazy in my life and take a month off but that’s not going to happen it seems.

I thought I had so much more to say about this topic but apparently I don’t. I kind of have a mental block with this. I keep thinking of great, hilarious things and when I sit down to write I blank. Maybe this little weekend will break that blockage just like the hsg does for my fallopian tubes.

Until next time my lovelies.

Prepare to cry

Not so much a blog post today, just an update. If you haven’t noticed, Kristen and I have compiled a list of our favorite miscarriage and infertility songs on a tab called “Listen at your own risk.”  I have taken the liberty of adding all of the songs we’ve chosen into a YouTube playlist for your convenience. That way, you have access to them whenever you need a little inspiration or a really good cry. The link is on the “Listen at your own risk” page. Bring on the tears.

It’s a two parter!

So I suck at blogging everyday. It’s not that I’m not amazingly talented or super funny all the time. I just can’t put my thoughts into words very easily lately. I have had 3 job interviews and I go in very confident and I leave feeling like my IQ dropped 100 points in the interview room and I babbled like my 2-year-old niece.
Any who! It has been an interesting first 4 days of the year. I have only been to work 1 day this year which makes me smile every time I say that. As most people know we have not stopped fertility treatments. I took my Letrozole as prescribed days 5-9. I went to the doctor on day 12 which was yesterday. What happens is I get un ultrasound and blood work done. They check all the levels they need to. Progesterone, LH, and estrogen I think. I don’t know, I try not to ask. So yesterday, my doctor is still out-of-town on vacation and they have this “sub” ultrasound tech. She’s nice and all but she’s not my doctor. So they check my ovaries. Side note-I was concerned there would be no eggs because I wasn’t feeling the pinches I usually do on whichever side I am ovulating on. She checks my left side first. I immediately panic when I see not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, but 6 follicles. NOW! Not every follicle will produce an egg. They have to be a certain size before they will pop out a mature egg that is viable for use. The size they should be is anywhere between 18 and 29mm in size and the ones on my left side were no larger than 11mm (this all depends on your doctor. Mine once let one get to 32mm before–no baby that month.) I was slightly unhappy but I realize that I am responding very well to this medication. She checks my right ovary. BAM! One big fat one! There were a couple little ones like on the left side but hey, 1 is all it takes. The nice big fat one was 19mm. The routine is to then get the hcg shot and ovulate and get inseminated the next day or do the wild thing for 4 days straight. This month my doctor said wait until tomorrow for the shot. For the last 4 months, these have been my exact results (minus the crazy amounts of eggs on one side.) I asked the girls why he decided that I needed to wait. They said that my numbers have been as close to identical as possible for the past 4 months and he wants to push it just a tad farther to get better results. So today I went back into the office (a 30 minute drive) and got another ultrasound and more blood work. You would be shocked to know that a follicle grows so quickly! Today the big fat juicy one measured 25mm. Go us! So I got my shot and informed the girls we would definitely be going forward with an insemination.
This means 2 things. Not only do the husband and I have to BBD for the next several days but he will have to wake up at about 6am and give me a sample of, what I call, my children. I will be at the office by 7am and they will “wash” the stuff and prep it for insemination. I like to say these sperm get a golden ticket. They pull a chance card and are allowed to pass go, collect their $200.00 and have fun racing to the finish line. There is nothing else to be done after this. I will lay on the table at the doctor’s office and go about my business…oh…and then start my 2ww. (I’m rolling my eyes if only you could see me…) So, there you have it. I will be inseminated like a cow only a farmer isn’t sticking his entire arm up my vag. A doctor gets to shove a catheter in there and splash me with a little Jeremy juice.

I told you this would be a 2 parter. It is but I really don’t want to write about this. I don’t believe dreams really mean anything except for your sub-conscience to make you paranoid while you sleep. I don’t really dream that often but when I do they are pretty rememberable. I know when I was pregnant I dreamt every night and they were such vivid dreams I would wake up and have to wake Jeremy up to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming.
Since I don’t really believe my dreams mean anything I don’t talk about them all that much. However, this dream freaked me out and I had to write it down. I couldn’t stop thinking of the baby we lost. I couldn’t stop imagining him. I couldn’t stop trying to picture his face or trying to feel how small he was or trying to hear him cry. Then all of a sudden he was there. Perfect and beautiful but I still couldn’t see his face. I could see his shape, his chunky arms and legs, his black hair and I could hear his little cries. I wanted to hold him but I couldn’t, someone was stopping me. I looked to see who was holding him and to talk some sense into them only to find out it was my uncle who had passed away almost 5 years ago. Sitting next to him was my grandfather smiling at him, speaking Hungarian to him and I understood everything he said. Next to them was a very dear family friend that just passed away last week. They were smiling at my son and telling him how amazing he was. Then my grandfather, who I never met because he died 8 years before I was born, said to me “We have him. He is ok with us. Your little boy is ok. Don’t worry. His brothers will come to you soon.” I started crying in my dream and said I want him now. I was told by my uncle that I needed to wait. He was needed with them and, again, his brothers would come to me soon. As they turned him around to show me his smile, this light almost blinded me and caused me not to be able to see his face. I told them I loved them all and I kept talking and was still crying. I woke up crying.
That has me completely freaked out. Like I said before, I don’t think about my dreams meaning anything but this was something I have never experienced before. I might need a psychic. I most likely need a psychiatrist. However, this gave me a strange feeling of relief. I felt this calm after I saw all of them with the baby. I know I only carried our son
until 10 weeks but he’s still my baby boy. And I got to see some folks I miss and love dearly.

So, there you have it. I’m insane. I have 2 weeks in front of me that I will be a nut job WARNING! WARNING! And I am in some strange way at peace now that my boy and my family are ok somewhere. So now, I will go make myself pancakes because they are calling to me. I saw them in a movie this afternoon and I can’t seem to get the taste out of my head. So excited for pancakes 🙂

***this is for Candi**** sorry for being a bitch on the phone. i don’t know why but i was and i apologize. i thought i would make it more public so you would believe me 🙂

A New Year with new goals

I have decided I will not be making a new year resolution. Instead I decided that we (Jeremy and I) will be making goals for the year. I have been obsessed with Pinterest since before it became popular so I have a million ideas on how to show our goals and keep track of how we are doing all year.
I woke up about 4 hours late today (as usual) and started cleaning and getting our list started. I was asked if I will have “get pregnant” on my list. Nope. I have been saying for the past 7 years that I will get pregnant. I did last year and we all know how that turned out. I have nothing fertility or baby related on my list. I can’t control my eggs. I can’t control my uterus. I can’t control whatever plan is in place. We are going to continue with fertility treatments which has been the plan all along. I won’t say I will be sane and not obsess over this but I have to get a grip. Fertility treatments and infertility consumes people. It has consumed me. I have let the depression get me in such a horrible place that I have withdrawn from society and personal interactions as much as possible. Luckily I have realized this before it got so bad that I can’t get out of it.
So I have goals. I have projects to keep me occupied. I have plans that, if I get pregnant, can continue or be stopped regardless of the outcome. I have an unspoken goal to get pregnant (even though I just typed it) but I won’t put it on a list. I will just keep it in my thoughts and prayers and know that whatever happens happens.
Good luck with all of your new years plans, resolutions, and goals. One of my goals is to finish my goals. That’s going to be difficult enough for me to do. This year has a lot of great things in store for us. Watch out for crazy to come to town, I know it’s coming soon.
Happy New Year and lots of love to all.

Insensitively: it’s how we roll

I am a very sensitive person. I do not have thick skin; I take things personally and I’m a crier. It’s common knowledge that we, as people, act differently depending on our situation. We may use different language and caution when dealing with superiors or strangers than if we were interacting with our close friends and family. I know Kristen and I told you that we’ll keep things uncensored, but there is a line we try not to cross. However, a can of worms was opened in a post a while back. You may at times find us insensitive and absurd; you may even lose respect for us. As business owners, our lives our out there for the public to see. We want to share our stories with you first hand, so that there is no misunderstanding in the future. We aren’t perfect. We’re human.

Kristen told you in a previous post, back when we were working at the flea market, that we called my cousin a whore. Please know, 1) we said it to her face, 2) we said it in jest, 3) we do not mean that she is literally a whore, 4) we do not discriminate: all pregnant women and women with children that we know (and love) are aware that we call them whores. We use it as a term of endearment. And maybe also out of jealousy.

Like previously mentioned, we act differently when faced with different situations and different people. After a loss, we grieve. Each person grieves differently. Kristen and I make ourselves feel better by saying since we aren’t teenagers or whores, we can’t stay pregnant. We constantly joke that if we were whores, maybe we’d have babies too… Well it was that month, after my “whore” cousin wished baby juju on us and Chris joked about giving me money after sex, that I did indeed get pregnant. I am now a whore, and proud of it! Maybe we were right after all!

***We know that teenagers and women who get pregnant unplanned also experience loss and complications. Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and infant loss do not discriminate. It’s a difficult process for anyone involved, whether your pregnancy was planned or not. We are not being hateful, we are just telling you how we are coping, hoping you can see the difference between a joke and actual hate.***

It all started when I lost Mason. Chris was trying to make me feel better and he mentioned that no one ever said growing a human was easy. Through my tears, I responded with, “except for teenagers and whores.”

We live in a society that glamorizes teen pregnancy and almost encourages single parenthood by way of government assistance. I know some very good moms that got pregnant at teenagers and I also know some really bad ones. I actually have a cousin who will becoming a grandma in her early 30s because her stepson (16) is having a baby with his girlfriend (15) in March. Of course they had no problems with their pregnancy.

Chris and I plan to get married sometime in the future, but we would technically be better off financially, if we didn’t. I could apply for Medicaid and WIC, if not other government assistance programs. **Please, don’t think that I am putting down single parents or those who need government assistance. I am for government assistance when needed. I am going to school to be a social worker- I deal with government assistance. Chris is a bricklayer who builds houses in low-income neighborhoods. I am a disabled veteran. I receive government benefits. I know some pretty kick-ass single moms (and dads). Government assistance is awesome, when not used as a way of life.

I don’t remember how it happened, but shortly after the loss of Mason, the “whore” fad exploded. I made an e-card that I’ve received a lot of hate and mean comments over, but if you’re insulted, screw you- you’re probably a whore. 😉

babies

Holidays, hormones, and the Apocalypse

Well, as I feared would happen I failed to keep my goal of blogging every day. It’s been quiet in crazy town. A little too quiet. Technically though, it hasn’t been quiet. I just figured that if I wrote down what I was feeling and posted it online the courts would have hard evidence and I would get a longer stay in the crazy house.
So I will fill you in on everything I can think of.

The holidays.
I hate the holidays. I’ve mentioned this before. It’s not really actual hate it’s more of a dislike of the pressure we all have to sit around a table with people we barely see and make chit-chat while shoveling food in your face then open gifts that we can’t afford to buy and really hope the receiver doesn’t hate it but you had no clue what to get for them because, again, you see them a few times a year and never talk. Remember what happened with Thanksgiving? I found out, yet again, I wasn’t pregnant? Fast forward about 30 days. Rinse and repeat. On the 21st I had my appointment to get checked. I was trying not to get my hopes up. I love Candi but I swear on my life her optimism may, in fact, be killing me. I mean that with all love and respect and thankfulness that she is positive for me and the both of us but one of these days I am going to kick her ass. Everything that was going on was a sign that AF was coming…or a sign that Jeremy jr was growing in my womb. I believed the first, Candi the second. I was right, she was wrong. We were both crushed. I HAD been having an ok day or 2 before I found out. I was getting in the Christmas spirit. I was thinking maybe my Christmas miracle was about to happen. Nope. The powers that be told me to go screw myself without a second thought. I should have known this was going to happen after I lost my temper with our car salesman (had to buy a new car the week before Christmas….ridiculous) and called him every name I could think of in a 5 second time span. That’s where my hormones come into play. I ripped this car salesman a new one. Tore him up one side and down the other. I didn’t stop there. I ripped my husband a new one. I ripped a sales guy at Verizon a new one for being a dick and ALMOST threw my phone at him but then I realized I couldn’t afford bail money if I did that.
So. The day the Mayans ran out of room on a rock and caused a lot of crack pots to believe the world would end, I went bat shit crazy. After the doctors and the Verizon incidents, we got in our new car and as I backed up to leave my phone went off. I had a new e-mail. YAY! Maybe this is the e-mail from the company I have been interviewing with for the past month, where I just had an interview with 2 of the owners and I am pretty sure I got this job. So sure in fact that I cleaned out my desk at my current job when I decided to “rage quit” because I only got a 15 cent raise because I am “too loud and don’t know how to stop talking.” I open up the e-mail with excitement. I read: Dear Kristen, Thank you for showing interest in the position however, we have chosen to go with the other candidate…. I stopped reading and threw my phone. I EXPLODED. If spontaneous combustion is real, I should have done it right then and there. My husband looked like he saw a bomb go off in his face and he knew the shock wave was coming for him. I honestly don’t remember the rest of that evening except I cried. I sobbed in fact. I sobbed like I did when we lost the baby. All my “new dreams” had been crushed again. I don’t really remember talking to anyone for a few days. I truly went off the deep end. I am really starting to question my mental stability these days. And of course, like clockwork, Aunt Flo came into town just in time for Christmas and caused me to be an emotional mess the entire holiday.

I read on theinfertilityvoice.com a post about the apocalypse and it really hit home for me. I mean, too close to home. She said: “There may have been moments in your own family building journey: a pregnancy loss, an adoption fall through, or even just another BFN – those days may have felt like your own personal End Times. We don’t need prophets and wackadoos telling us the world is going to end when many of us have lived through a monthly apocalypse of our own.” Amen sister. That is the truth. Many people don’t understand this. They think we are the wackadoos (I am one but still…) My world ended again on Friday the 21st which is freaky but just happened to be a coincidence. The 22nd I woke up and started fresh even though I didn’t really want to. All week I thought about how I shouldn’t be getting another BFN. I should be holding a beautiful baby boy in my arms. I should be fighting for sleep. I should be recovering from bringing new life into this world. Instead, I was crying because of grief. I was trying to make new memories to help heal the scars of my loss. I went to church hoping that I can find my faith that I have lost track of and need to find again. I spent time with my best friend and her family and made fun memories. But I never forgot what I was trying to heal from.
My 2 best friends bought me gifts for Christmas that were perfect. Hilarious and perfect. Candi bought me a book called “I hate everything.” It is perfect. When I start getting upset, I pick this book up and read a few pages and laugh. She knows me way too well. Calley bought me this box that says “Friends will help you up when you fall, but best friends will push you back down and laugh.” Inside she put fertility rocks and crystals and said to put them by my bed since they are supposed to do something. I have 2 of the most amazing friends anyone could ask for. I have an amazing husband (even though sometimes he’s a jerk but he’s working on it and I’m working on not being such a psycho bitch….) and I am very lucky.

Even though my world ended again on the 21st I am very lucky. I’m alive. I have my loved ones, my home, my fur-babies, a job, and a car we are paying way too much for. I am very lucky.

When prayers aren’t enough

This is my letter to Kristen:

I have spent days and weeks and months praying for you to get pregnant. And then amending my prayer for you to carry to term. And then again for your baby to be healthy.  I have prayed that if it were between the two of us, I wanted you to get pregnant first. It only seemed fair. In my joy of finding out that I was expecting, I admit I was a little saddened it was me and not you. I have prayed with all my heart and soul, but I can’t give you what you want. I know that everything happens in God’s time, but dangit- I can’t stand seeing you suffer. I get enough hope up for the both of us and I’m crushed when your heart is broken, yet again. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss. I can’t protect you from pain. I can’t magically give you a baby.  I’m helpless here. I’m not asking for your reassurance, because this isn’t about me. It’s about you and the fact that I would do anything in my power for you, as any best friend would. Everything in my power and all of my prayers don’t seem to be enough, though. I love you, friend, and I want all of your dreams to come true.You have been a blessing in my life and I can’t seem to repay you for the dark times you’ve helped me through and the good times you’ve shared with me.  There was that one time you almost killed me, as I choked on a chicken sandwich from a joke that you told, but I forgive you for that. Life sucks and it isn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. We have no patience, even though God keeps reminding us to slow down and wait. I will gladly shoulder as much of your burden and sorrow as possible. I will be your cheerleader and hope have-er. I will be your verbal punching bag, (sorry I bruise easily.) I will continue to stay by your side and pray my heart out. I will do whatever I can. I’m just sorry my prayers aren’t enough.

Love you dear friend.

Candi

Tips and Tricks for TTC-Debunked part 1

To preface this post and series about tips and tricks being debunked…I am not a medical professional.  I like to put myself into really embarrassing situations and then tell people about it.  If you really want to know if something works or is safe please, consult an actual physician or someone who has spent more than 3 months in medical school like I did.  Thank you.
Anyone in the TTC game knows that everyone has their own tips and tricks to tell you about.  Everyone thinks that if they get pregnant than whatever they were doing is the key to getting pregnant and if they didn’t get pregnant than whatever they tried that month is a complete failure and they will never try it again.  For example.  The month I got pregnant I had been changing our eating habits.  I went from eating crap, over processed, sugar/carb filled, horrible food to eating an almost vegetarian diet with mostly organic fruits and vegetables and hormone/antibiotic free chicken and wild fish.  I lost about 15 lbs at the last check before I went hog-wild.  After I found out I was pregnant I was convinced that my new eating habits, my lack of caring for the reproductive process and being more active got me pregnant.  I am sure it helped but I don’t think it ACTUALLY was a major factor.  Technically I was already pregnant a few days after I tried all of this.
So I decided, after reading some hilarious tricks and tips, to try them.  Not only for my own amusement but to prove to others that we TTC people are absolutely insane and will try damn near anything to help us get our babies we so desperately want to bring home healthy.  I will most likely try everything I describe here.  Probably starting out nice and easy then hitting you with the really insane stuff.  I also will tell you about things that I am almost certain I won’t try.  Like this.

According to my research, many women use egg whites as a form of lubricant.  Yes people.  EGG WHITES.  I thought my dear friend, who shall remain nameless, had flipped her lid when she told me this was a relatively common practice.  I had never heard of this until yesterday.  Basically you take an egg (the possibility for salmonella is only if you try to insert the entire egg with the shell because the shell is the only thing that could be contaminated so don’t stick an entire egg in your vagina please) and separate the yolk from the white.  You place the egg white in a cup and set it by your bedside 1 hour prior to sexy time so it will reach room temperature prior to insertion.  The video I watch explained that you could use a syringe (with no needle) or an actual turkey baster.  That made me laugh hysterically as I watched a middle-aged woman joyfully play with a turkey baster.  So, after it’s at room temperature and about 10 minutes before you proceed, insert the egg white into your lady parts.  If you are curious as to where to insert, the lady in the video told me “the place where we douche.”  Where the penis goes would have sufficed, thank you.  After you insert the egg white DO NOT STAND UP!  It will slip right on out.  The next step is to have sex.
*Side note – I was explaining this to my friend at work and I realized, and said, this.  There are already enough noises going on during sex and I’m not sure I can handle the sloshing noises that would be made if I added an egg white.  I have such a messed up mind that I wondered about scrambled eggs as well.
That was pretty much the end of the tutorial.
NOW!  The few people who I have spoken to about this “trick” have told me that it did not work.  I believe, until I ask my doctor tomorrow strictly out of curiosity, we will not be trying this.  It makes me nervous because I just don’t know if food needs to be involved in conception-outside of a diet of course.  This is supposed to make you “sperm friendly” and give you that egg white consistency to help the swimmers reach the target easier.  If you choose to try this, let me know how it works for you.  I will report back if we try it.
If you would rather a less disgusting way of getting that egg white cervical mucus consistency give some over the counter meds a try, with doctor’s permission if you are seeing a specialist for this stuff.  Guaifenesin is an expectorant.  You can find Guaifenesin tablets in pharmacies and online.  Guaifenesin is available over the counter in tablet form.  They are better than Robitussin because the tablets have the Guaifenesin as the only ingredient which ensures thin mucus.
There are also sperm safe lubricants you can use.  Preseed and Conceive Plus are 2 that I have heard great lubricants I have heard about.

I have tried the Guaifenesin in the form of Robitussin.  That lasted until I threw up the Robitussin because the taste is nasty.  I think I will be grabbing some of the Guaifenesin tablets at my earliest convenience.  (Mucinex contains this ingredient if you can’t find the actual Guaifenesin but be cautious with other ingredients in the product!)  We didn’t have the extra funding for the lube this month-I know this sounds horrible-so we will try that after the holidays I believe.

If you would like to find out information about other tips & tricks that you are too afraid to try, let me know.  If it’s something that I feel comfortable trying I will try it and post for the world to see…unless it involves egg whites in my vagina.  Stay tuned for the next installment of Tips & Tricks for TTC-Debunked! Baby dust and hugs to all!

The following link is where I found the videos for using Egg Whites for fertility.  If you are serious about trying this method please watch this first 🙂  http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/eggwhites.htm

Hello Cracked Eggs…

Hi everyone.

Candi & Kristen asked me to guest post, so I figured “Hey, it’s Wednesday morning, why the heck not?” So, here goes…

A little bit about myself: *clears throat a la an AA meeting* Hi, my name is Trisha, I’m (almost) 35 years old and I am infertile. (Hi, Trisha!)

My story is pretty simple, though a bit different from Candi’s & Kristen’s – my husband, Michael, and I were married in October of 2002 and because of Mike’s reticence about having kids, we decided to wait a year before we started trying. During that year, we had to work out a few things between ourselves anyway. Anyway, so we waited a year, then started trying. Keep in mind that because we didn’t like condoms, we didn’t use protection at all and I wasn’t on the pill. Sure we’d agreed to wait a year but I figured if it happens, it happens. I was totally secure in my want of kids – Mike was just a little unsure, but I knew he would make an excellent father.

Anyway, we keep trying, keep trying, keep trying – nothing. We spent the time trying to get our finances in order (made the typical stupid mistakes with credit cards when we first got married), we work, go to school, graduate from college, get married, work, go to school, graduate from college (me this time), buy a house, etc. And nothing. Nothing happens. By this time we’re pretty sure there must be a problem so we finally hook up with a fertility specialist here in Akron.

Follow through with the typical testing, the blood draws (do NOT be afraid of needles if you decide to do this), etc. Then the doctor dropped the bomb – there is NOTHING wrong. Well, mostly. Mike’s boys are a little odd, but the “good ones” are plentiful – the doctor is stumped, we are too. So we do some IUI’s (inter-uterine inseminations) and by the 4th one we’re old hat at this – and yay, maybe this one worked?!

I was SO excited! I actually HAD a number – 5! Finally – I had the sore boobs, the bloating, etc.

But no. It didn’t stick. There’s a lot at the time that I could have blamed it on – almost 100% of the blame I felt at the time lay with the stress over the job I had at the time. By the time my boobs stopped hurting and the bloat went away, I’d gotten fired from that job. It’s safe to say that things are very different now.

This was 2 years ago….and time for a new adventure in the baby game.

Well, kids, this is where I stop for now (I gotta go to work…dang it). But more later, I promise.

OH, and as I go through and try to hash all of this out (with Cracked Eggs permission, of course) if anyone has any questions, let me know. As Kristen will tell you – I’m an open book. Just may take some time to get all the chapters out. 😉 Happy Wedsnesday!