6 weeks, 6 days
So today was our first ultrasound for baby, ‘bati. Yes, I have had massive amounts of blood drawn from my body these last couple weeks and I should be an old pro at doctors visits, but this was our first ultrasound since Mason. What worried me was seeing an empty sac again, like last time. I was prepared, but wasn’t prepared, to see nothing. And there it was. A tiny blob with a heartbeat. A baby. An actual living being. It was the first time of 3 pregnancies I have seen my child or heard a heartbeat. Chris had a grin from ear to ear and was beaming. It was adorable. He even asked the tech to hear the heartbeat again. His love for our babe made me love him that much more. I love that man. I love our child. I had prepared myself to see nothing on the screen, but there was a baby. What I wasn’t prepared for was the relief that I didn’t feel. I was happy to see a little one, but my fears didn’t subside with the beat, beat, beat of it’s heart. I think they only mounted.
How will I handle it if, God forbid, I lose my baby after seeing it and hearing that wonderful sound? Will I lose my ever loving mind?! I’m freaking out. Just a bit.Chris isn’t worried, it’s just me. He thinks I’m over-reacting. He did say that he’s glad he doesn’t have to put away all the Christmas decorations we just put up this weekend or have to put me on suicide watch. I asked him if he was serious. He said he was. I didn’t think it was THAT bad. I know bad and I know me. I wasn’t that bad. Could you image if he had known me during my super-depression-pre-medicated phase? Oye.
Morning sickness has been kicking my butt. So has being tired. But then
Ok, so enough being worried. We’re having a baby. July 31, 2013. Heartbeat is 121. We’ll start to take bets on boy/girl and due date. You’ve got time to figure it out. If you get em both correct, you win $1,000,000. Ha just kidding. You can have bragging rights though…
cracked eggs and loose marbles 