Ovulation and PCOS

Shockingly enough, it’s possible without drugs!
I started my weight loss journey March 8th. It is now April 30th. I am down 28 pounds which is amazing for me. If you recall from my previous post, we took a much-needed fertility break because I just felt the timing was very bad. So, I have been going to the doctor every 30 days. Last month I went the day before my dad passed to find out I wasn’t pregnant and to let the doctor know that I was not going to actively pursue fertility treatments for a few months. He agreed and added that we would be using no medications. This was to see if my body was going to cooperate and work on its own.
As luck would have it, I ovulated. On my own! Now the problem is that we aren’t exactly sure when that happened. I was waiting for “the feeling” of ovulation. I thought I got that a few days after I normally did when everything is medically induced. HOWEVER, I think that was incorrect. The week AFTER, I had all the normal symptoms of ovulation…including EWCM. I actually texted Candi while she was at a baseball game to make sure it was possible that I could have ovulated and had this disgusting mucus.

Here I sit now, 7 days late for my period. I went in on the 23rd to the fertility doctors office to get my blood and ultrasound. At that moment, I would have been 5 days past ovulation if I actually ovulated that late. The test came back negative. No biggie because I am still not sure I could handle that and still grieving and everything else. I do, however, have a small voice in the back of my mind (and Candi’s voice in my ear) saying it’s still possible. I go back to the clinic tomorrow for another ultrasound and blood test. The doctor told me I should be starting anytime but I can’t wait for it to happen naturally at this point. I have been a raging bitch for the last 5 days. Not to mention extremely emotional. I have no other symptoms…so I have no idea what is going on but I will find out tomorrow if I don’t start before then.

This is just a small glimmer of hope to you ladies out there with PCOS. I know not everyone has a weight problem and I don’t believe this is all because of my weight. I am so much healthier now because of the products I use. I have energy, I get off the couch and run or walk, I play with my dogs outside rather than let them out and call them back in. I truly believe that with the right nutrition and healthy living you can reverse the effects of PCOS. I am trying my damnedest. My doctor said he was stunned that I had lost so much weight and that I ovulated on my own. Maybe this will mean I don’t have to spend every last dime on treatments anymore.

Keep up the good thoughts everyone. I am thinking about you always! Baby dust to everyone that wants it!

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OOOOOOOOH I wish I had a…

Vaginal ultrasound machine. I actually sang this to the tune of the Oscar Myer bologna song. Try it! It really works well. A vaginal ultrasound machine takes the guess-work out of ovulation. There are other things I could do. For instance, I could buy OPK’s. Which I did from the dollar tree. I am too cheap and too poor to buy them from the real pharmacy where they have multiple sticks and you don’t have to provide your own cup. The results were that I was not having a LH surge, yet I feel like there is something going on with my ovary…particularly the left one.
With us being on a “break” so to speak from the fertility clinic, I took no ovulation inducer. I am off every type of hormone known to medicine aside from what my body does, or doesn’t in my case, create. This is why I would like a vaginal ultrasound machine. You can see any follicles on your ovaries. Unfortunately, these machines cost many thousands of dollars. You also would probably do best if you had an ultrasound tech that could read them (or a really great husband that would hold the wand where you tell him…HAH!) I also have the thought that my bff would be coming over for ultrasounds all the time (they do come with the non vaginal wands when you buy the machine) so we can make sure little dude is alright.

This whole thought has been going on all week. I should be ovulating at some point this week if I were going to ovulate. I have no idea if it’s worth it to stay up until the husband gets home to baby dance and then be so exhausted in the morning I can’t function. I’m not sleeping all that well but apparently when Jeremy came home the other night and tried to “wake me up”, I smacked the shit out of him. I recall none of this. His being on 2nd shift makes procreation a very difficult thing. He is either waking up in the middle of his “night”, meaning 6am, to give me a sample in a cup or I am staying up way too late, meaning 12-1am, to do the deed and plant his seed. This makes us both very cranky.
ANYWAY! If i just had access to my very own ultrasound machine I would be set. I would know when I could sleep and not worry that ovulation is occurring at every turn. I would also know when to make my husband do his duties as a man.

Normally, I wouldn’t be worried about ovulation without medication. However, I have lost 20lbs in the last month and the doctor told me that with every 10lbs I lose my chances of ovulating go up a good percentage. This means I may not have to go back and spend every last dime I have to get knocked up. Or I could save those pennies to have an ultrasound machine…

I still exist…

Hello world.
I am a failure as a blogger. Thank goodness Candi has kept this thing moving but I know it’s been quite stagnant with no posts from either of us lately. So many things have happened since the last time I posted anything.
Of course, Candi is pregnant. I think she has that subject covered. 🙂
I switched jobs. I left a place that made me miserable and incredibly depressed. I am now working as an office manager and I am super happy…except when people do/say incredibly stupid crap and make me want to smack them. (That just happened…I almost yelled.)
I have started this great weight loss/lifestyle change called Herbalife. I started March 8th and to this date I have lost 20 lbs. That is the most weight I have ever lost in the history of me trying to lose weight. We are hoping that this helps in the baby factory to boost production. I thought maybe I was hallucinating because I couldn’t tell that I was losing any weight until this morning when I realized my pants are super baggy. Crazy for me since my clothes are never baggy.

I had that hsg in January and nothing, nada, zilch. I ovulated with meds for the last couple months but nothing. Depression set in and I decided I needed a break.

And then the shit hit the fan. My dad died. He had been on dialysis for 6 years due to a chronic kidney disease and he decided it was his time to go. This is still pretty raw and will probably need a whole separate blog post because I can barely talk about it without needing a Xanax. We took him to Hospice on the 21st of March. The 22nd I stepped away for a doctor’s appointment. Of course for a pregnancy test/check up at the fertility clinic. I had a good sign and thought I might actually be pregnant and maybe in the back of my mind I could convince my dad to go back on dialysis. I know this was a dumb thought but I had it. Of course I was not pregnant. So on top of all of the emotional stuff I had going on with my dad, I had that to deal with too. Saturday, March 23rd, my dad passed away. I watched my daddy take his last breath surrounded by our family. You say you are ready when someone makes a decision like this but really you are not. Ever. I have a giant hole in my heart now and I know I will forever.

This has been a pretty ridiculous 2013 and I was really wanting this year to be a great year. It has had its ups and downs and it’s only April. That brings me to a whole new world of triggers. 1 year ago, on the 13th, I found out I was pregnant. So, I am on a fertility break. The doctor agreed that this is not the time for me to be trying since I am now being medicated for stress and anxiety and insomnia. I think it’s really about time I go see that shrink. I am hoping that I don’t go completely off the deep end because we know that I am already in the shallows heading my way there.
I promise I won’t be away so much. I will be writing posts as much as I can. I need to get my mind off of everything else, or at least have a place where I can say what I want and not give a damn if anyone is offended. This is all over the place and I know that but please forgive me. I have to blurt it all out and in time it will all be explained bit by bit.
Love to all…my uterus says hi too.